The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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