yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
