Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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