I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
