I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
