i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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