You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
