My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
