I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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