yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im six kinds of drunk right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
