She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
