Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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