Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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