i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
