After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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