she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
