I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
of course. lets lasso hookers.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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