i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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