I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He felt like a one man threesome
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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