I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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