They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
