Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
