I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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