paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize