My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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