There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
