tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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