hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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