someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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