the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've blown a few things in my day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
