Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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