i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You made out with two different species that night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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