IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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