i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
