im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
