You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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