Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize