we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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