I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
