1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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