Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize