Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
