1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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