I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
