last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it hurts more in the daytime
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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