before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
