His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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