Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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