Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
