Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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