OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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