I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
