I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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