One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.