my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
