Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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