Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
