Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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