When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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