Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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