I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
