If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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