come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
